Category: A Dog’s Life

Cats are taking over my territory…

Would you look at this? I turn away for one moment and look who’s in my crate. My sacred castle. My territory.

Yep…it’s Creampuff, our ditzy housemate. She’s got her own water dish in the kitchen, but she likes mine better. I could assert my authority over that cat but that would be undignified. As a Canine Urban Princess, I have to be concerned with my image.

It’s just water anyway. My mom always brings more.

Creampuff does nibble my food, too, but it’s rarely around more than 5 minutes. I’m eating a lot faster these days. After the vet told Cathy to cut back on my serving size, mealtime goes by in a flash. Sigh.

Dog too tired to pay attention to cat

So here I am, enjoying my dog bed. It’s been a tough weekend. Mom dragged me to the dog park on Saturday. Sunday I played in the dog lounge for hours. This bed feels so soft and comfortable.

Someone’s trying to sneak by me but who cares? I’m down for the count. Yes, I saw that calico tail on my left (your right). But my priorities are firmly fixed. Sleep first. Cats later.

At least we’re finally getting some sun.  Back to my nap as soon as mom puts away that darn camera.

Celebrity Apprentice: Should have got a cat (spoilers)

My mom was watching Celebrity Apprentice on hulu.com. She told me their task of the week was to make a YouTube episode for All Detergent. It was supposed to be viral and funny.

“They fired the wrong people,” Cathy told me, shaking her head at the computer. “But hey, it’s show biz! We like watching Clint and Melissa. The people they fired were…well, background. And sometimes that Boardroom is more like a Celebrity Therapy Group. Good for the ratings.”

Well, c’mon, guys. I may not be a celebrity (except on the Seattle Metro buses and in the dog park). But I could give these folks some lessons.

Team #1 made a raunchy soft porn video, where “doing the laundry” stands for…well, something I no longer do, now that I am fixed. Team #2 did something with midgets.

Midgets? Little people?

Here’s a short quiz. What stops everybody dead in their tracks? When videos get posted on yahoo, what do they feature?

A cat.

If I were making a video that’s what I’d do. We could have a cat playing with the laundry. A dog works too, but cats work with the female demographic. (I’ve been listening to my mom the copywriting strategist.) And yes, I have an ulterior motive…

If my techno-challenged mom ever gets the hang of her Flip video camera, we’ll have videos up the wazoo. Hopefully that will happen in my lifetime. I am not optimistic. My mom bribes the building manager to change her light bulbs and smoke detector batteries.

Meanwhile, if those Celebrity Apprentices want a cat who’s perfect for the leading role, we will lend them Ophelia. Ophelia looks very funny when she waddles across the room. She’s hilarious when she dives into her hiding place, one step ahead of Creampuff. (I think Creampuff lets her win.) My mom adores Ophelia and she wouldn’t give her up. But Ophelia would have a great life on the set, eating treats and sardines instead of crunchies.

Who knows? Maybe Donald Trump would adopt her. A dog can dream, right?

Oh well, back to my normal role. In my non-celebrity life, there’s always time for one more nap.

Dog likes baths? Yes…this one does!

Today my mom took me to to the Downtown Dog Lounge for playtime and a bath. She went off to the gym and a concert and…who knows what else? I don’t care. I want her to enjoy her life so I can enjoy mine.

When Mom came to pick me up, I was just getting the final touches on my coat.

“Gracie, you look beautiful!” my mom exclaimed. I wagged my tail. But not too hard. I knew what was coming.

“Was Gracie good today?”

Yep. She always asks that.

“Of course! you always ask.”

This moment is practically scripted.

“Gracie doesn’t mind her bath,” they added. “She holds up her paw so we can cut her nails.”

Well, of course. I’m a CUPPIE …a Canine Urban Princess. Of course I get my nails done. And I get a bath and blow dry. It’s what I deserve.

Rain…and more…

My mom isn’t handling the rain very well. She was going to take me to the Downtown Dog Lounge for a bath. After a busy Saturday of herding sheep and then a trip to Magnuson with my Aunt Sara, I could use one.

Mom said, “I’m not even going to the gym. I went yesterday anyway and I’m still feelilng the effects. This rain and cold make me sneeze.”

Don’t get a cold, Mom. You’ve got too much work to do. I’ll wait. After all, I’m exhausted.

I’m a sheep dog!

On Saturday I went off to Ewetopia with my best big sister, Summer from the Downtown Dog Lounge. My mom was supposed to go too, but she took one step outside and just about froze. She doesn’t do too well in the cold, especially cold and rain.

Just as well. I wanted some quality time with Summer.

Summer told Cathy that I am a natural. “Gracie knew what to do with the sheep,” she said. “She herded them into a circle.”

True. I don’t know how I knew this, but I did. Somewhere in my mix is a sheepherding breed.

My mom refuses to pay for DNA tests. “I’d rather spend the money on treats and extra time at the Dog Lounge,” she says. “Or extra walks with Aunt Sara.”

For once, Mom’s got her priorities straight. But I’m still getting over the day. Time for another nap.

Dog Obedience Demonstration (Urban Style)

My mom Cathy likes me to sit at the corner when we cross the street. Here we’re on our Big Walk and I’m demonstrating how obedient I can be.

Actually, that’s what my mom thinks I’m doing. In reality I’m looking proud and regal. I’m a proud pack member who’s guarding her owner. Nobody better mess with us.

From the back, I look a little bit like a retriever. What do you think?

Dog walk, continued…we climb more stairs…

Here’s another set of stairs.

I hope you’re impressed. Mom says, “This walk is so good for us, Gracie. Good for our quads and glutes.”

Earth to mom. Dogs don’t have quads and glutes. I’m just here to keep you out of trouble.

Mom wanted to include  the jonquils in this shot. “Maybe spring will be coming soon,” she said.

Come on, Mom. It’s cold.

We go for a walk

Last week my mom said, “Gracie, we’re going for a walk! We will take a bus to the top of Queen Anne Hill and walk down.”

Then, as she got ready, she said, “Hmm. These jeans are a little snug. We’d better walk both ways.”

Great. Her jeans feel tight so we have to walk? She couldn’t even begin to fit into those jeans six months ago. What’s her problem?

As usual, the mom wins.

Queen Anne is so steep, you can get there by stairs. We climbed…

Do you see those stairs?