Category: dog owner

In the Dog House

My mom Cathy has been really busy. She’s involved with a big JV promotion and setting up more calls for her teleseminar series. (Ever the promoter, my mom insisted we add those links. If it were up to me, we’d link only to dog parks and treats.)

So I didn’t choose the best time to wake her up at 2 AM Wednesday night, demanding to go outside. Mom freaked. She was sure I was headed for another Digestive Disaster. So I spent a very disgruntled Thursday, nibbling a boring stew of rice and bland diet food.

I had to make my point. But what could I do? She carefully hid the delicious people food – yum, hamburger! – and the tempting cat food I prefer anytime.

So I waited.

Sure enough, we went to the dog park. I managed to scarf down some stuff my mom will not allow me to mention in this blog. Cathy snapped my leash back on and said, “That’s enough!” And to my admiring fan club, she added, “Gracie’s ready to go home when she stops playing and starts eating…well, you know.” They all nodded sagely, even my fans who don’t own dogs and just come to the park to hang out.

Nothing happened. I was healthy. I slept all afternoon and all night, enjoying my favorite spot on Cathy’s bed.

Finally, Cathy realized I was fine…just a one-time thing. So today she’s bringing me back to regular food, one day at a time. Let me tell you: rice mixed with California Natural and Innova is not a bad combination plate for a hungry dog. If only she’d just toss in a few bites of her own dinner…

Food for thought

So my mom Cathy put me on a bland diet last week. I woke her up four times in one night, demanding to go out and “do my business,” as we say delicately in this house.

This time, Cathy followed the instructions of the vet’s assistant, Mallory. She measured my food carefully and doled out careful ratios of bland food to regular food. “Take a week or so to work back to normal,” Mallory said.

Cathy nodded solemnly. No more late night wake-ups.

I had other ideas. I know how to beat the system.

Sure enough, one day Mom forgot and left the cat food out. Whoosh! It waas gone.

“Oh no!” Mom yelled when she saw the empty dish. “You better not get sick again.”

No problem. I’m back to normal food again…and I came within two seconds of capturing a live muffin.

Going to the Vet and Helping My Owner

Last Saturday we went to the vet so I could get updated on my bortadella and giardia vaccines. I need them to get admitted to the Dog Lounge. They’re very strict.

We walked through Kinnear Park and I sniffed out all the crocus and jonquils, along with other scents I can’t discuss on a G-rated journal. Then we went to the dog park.

And on Sunday, my eye started looking a little watery. A greenish dot appeared in the corner. Not a big deal.

Cathy freaked.

“On no. Not another trip to the vet. Maybe it’ll go away…”

But it didn’t. So on Tuesday, bright and early, we traipsed over to the vet. My mom was busy so we hopped a cab. Our vet, Dr Clare Morris of UrbanVet, said, “Awfully red. We’d better do something about this.”

Oh no. That doesn’t sound like I’m getting a treat. Sure enough, I ended up with goop in my eyes.

“Gracie, you are driving me to bankruptcy,” Mom sighed, handing over her credit card one more time.

Actually, I’m just doing my job. If my mom didn’t spend her money on me, who knows what she would do? She’d start drinking. She could get into drugs. Who knows? Maybe she would even buy some new outfits at Nordstrom’s.

OK, my mom falls asleep after half a can of beer. She thinks drugs are boring. Don’t even mention clothes shopping.

But who knows? What else would Mom spend her money on? She hates traveling since 9/11.

So I’ll make sure she’s got a worthy cause. Me.

Happy Weekend…

Happy Easter, Passover, Vernal Equinox or just Cold, Rainy Weekend in Seattle!

Good thing I don’t feel like going outdoors today. Cathy’s bed is nice and warm and I’m not leaving it till I absolutely have to. Cathy is going to the gym, as she always does on Sunday mornings, for the killer class taught by the Intrepid Russian Gymnast.

I encourage this obsession. An owner who’s in shape will take her dog for lots of walks.

I’m already in great shape…and this comforter is so soft…I’ll just dream about exercise today.

Crash! Dog Mom Rejects The “Older Woman” Dress Code

Okay, I am sitting in our bedroom, happily chewing on my mom Cathy’s remaining wool hat. It’s kind of ugly (I chewed up all the cute ones) so she really needs to get rid of it. I am helping.

I hear muttering from the living room. Then I hear a crash. Uh oh. Time for me to take charge.

It seems Cathy is taking a break with a copy of the Oprah O magazine she found at the gym. She’s reading an article about how “older women” should dress to avoid looking old and dowdy.

“Look at this! No baggy sweats! What do I wear when it’s cold? And they’re so comfortable…oh no. This is NUTS No backpack?! Since when were backpacks for old people? I’ve been carrying a pack for…okay, many years. How can I haul around my laptop and my books? Ergonomically?

“And here’s a picture of a perfectly normal, wholesome woman wearing jeans and a nice turtleneck and sneakers. She looks happy and healthy. And this idiot says she should be wearing…heels? High heels? You gotta be kidding!

“And here’s the Big Lie. These days there’s no excuse, she says. Anyone can find comfortable high heels. Hah. My toes hurt just thinking about it.”

And that’s when a recent issue of O magazine goes crashing across the room.

I know just what to do. I go over to my mom and put my head in her lap. I look up beseechingly with The Look: “Mom, we have to go out. Now. Or there will be dire consequences.”

Mom falls for it. She puts on her best set of baggy sweats. She shoves her square-toed feet into comfy, broken-in Asics. She tosses bus fare into the pocket of her orange Nike jacket.

We head straight for the Belltown dog park, where my Mom enjoys talking to the regulars who come from diverse backgrounds: “Jail to Yale,” says Lindsay, the volunteer park steward. Nobody seems concerned about dressing to look young. For some of the regulars, looking alive and healthy is a major achievement, and one I’m happy to celebrate myself.

Twenty minutes later, Mom has forgotten all about the magazine. Now she’s muttering about why dogs have been banned from Macrina bakery so we can’t just pop in on the way home.

Dogs Are Good For People

First, my mom wants you all to know, she does NOT watch a lot of television. She does have a television but she also has a DVR. So she skips through everything: she goes through Good Morning America in about 15 minutes, watching just the segments she likes: skip the music and the weather, she says, and the ridiculous shots of millionaire anchor staff shivering on the plaza.

She actually told Comcast, “Take back the Cable!” But they offered her a deal she couldn’t refuse.

That’s why she’s sitting on the edge of the couch today, watching the WNBA Finals and keeping her fingers crossed for the Phooenix Mercury. My mom Cathy has been a fan of Diana Taurasi ever since she saw Taurasi as a college freshman take her first 3-point shot. My mom likes people who color outside the lines. I can’t imagine why.

But I digress…Mom was watching book reviews on CSPAN-2 when she heard a totally moving story by Heidi Kraft, author of Rule Number Two: Lessons I Learned in an Iraq Combat Hospital.

Kraft, a Navy psychologist, served in a Marine hospital. She befriended an Army veterinarian who was assigned to treat the K-9 Corps. He would invite Kraft to visit the sociable dogs as a stress relief break.

One of Kraft’s human patients was a female Marine Sergeant. This woman was the only female in an all-male unit, she was in a war zone and she was clinically depressed. Working with the MDs, Kraft arranged for medication as well as counseling. Then for two months, the sergeant was too busy to come by.

Then one day, the sergeant showed up in Kraft’s office, looking much happier. She even wore make-up!

What happened? This sergeant’s unit had adopted a stray dog. She bonded with the dog. She arranged to send the dog home, where her family will keep the dog till she can arrive in her next duty station, San Diego.

Now, said the sergeant, she has something to look forward to. That dog needs her! And the sergeant has applied for a transfer to the US Marine Corps K-9 unit.

When my mom Cathy says (for the ninetieth time), “Gracie, you are driving me nuts!” or even, “Gracie, you are a nuisance!” I just give her The Look. She needs me.

Perfect Job for a Dog

Here’s an article I found in today’s New York Times.
Dogs and Their Fine Noses Find New Career Paths
By Jennifer Lee
Published: June 13, 2006Click here.I’d like to get a job sniffing out food. I can sniff anything even remotely edible and some things that aren’t.

My mom has a career website for humans…like, why bother? Taking care of me could be a full-time job.