Uh oh…My mom Cathy got into a long phone call this morning. She was clicking on her laptop, intensely muttering about blogs and teleseminars and keywords…and totally ignoring me.
So what’s a dog to do? I decided to help my mom out. See, Cathy really, really hates dressing up. She totally detests dress shoes, which she defines as anything except Asics and Birkenstocks. .
Now, I happen to know these loafers pinch her feet. She can barely walk across the room in them. And they’re not exactly in style. She needs to throw them out.
So I’m going to accelerate the process. Mmm…delicious leather. Probably fake, but who cares?
Yeah, I’ve got a handful of chew toys. But why eat hamburger when you can have steak? And why go for a chew toy when you can have a shoe? Yum.
My mom doesn’t get it. She’s using words that should not be uttered in the presence of a CUPPIE. My royal ears are sensitive.
“Gracie, I have a speaking engagement next week! I have to look presentable! What will I wear?”
Well, if it were me, I’d pad across the room in my bare paws. Who says dogs are dumb?
Good thing I’ve got an outing planned with my Aunt Sara. We’ll go run in the park while my mom goes to the gym and runs her errands and works. By tomorrow, the shoes will be in the garbage, where they belong, and my mom will go out and choose a new pair of running shoes.
“Maybe I’ll get a pedicure and wear my Birkies,” Mom said wistfully.
Good idea. Never mind that she’s never had a pedicure, but I get one with every bath. Go for it, mom!