I love meeting other people’s dogs and demonstrating that I’m really a well-behaved model of a dog. My mom says it’s all fake.

“As soon as they turn away,” she points out, “you’re back to chewing and jumping and pulling.”

She exaggerates. Look how good I am. Our neighbor Janet has a wonderful big dog named Emma. I’m doing a good “sit” because sometimes Janet has treats. Seize the day. .. er, treat. That’s my motto!

My mom just read me this article from the New York Times. Sit. Stay. Parse. Good Girl!

Apparently there’s a border collie on the East Coast who knows over 1000 words.

“See, Gracie?” she said. “I need to work with you on learning more things. So far you haven’t fully mastered coming when called. Don’t you feel a little…um, underachieving?”

Who’s kidding who? I never feel like an underachiever. I am a Canine Urban Princess – a CUPPIE in good standing. I don’t need to learn all those words. I just follow Cathy’s actions.

In fact, I am actually almost psychic.

Yesterday my mom was going out in the evening. She just signed up to take an improv class up at Jet City Improv. Fortunately I can’t go because I realize this is yet another activity at which my mom will fail to excel. So far, there’s been pottery, dancing and now…acting. She just doesn’t know when to quit.

But I digress. We went to the park around 3 PM. My mom urged me to run and play, even though there weren’t any other dogs worthy of my attention. And I’m not getting any younger. Even our good friend Lindsay noticed I’m getting more gray around the muzzle. Okay, I got in a few sprints. But I’m conserving my energy for tomorrow’s trip to the good park with my Aunt Sara and the nice dogs in my regular pack.

So we went home and my mom pretended to work at her computer. I can tell because while she works I sleep on my special cushion, right behind her. The fat Ophelia sleeps right next to me on a separate cushion.

Then the mom tried to fool me into a walk. She didn’t change her clothes. She made a big point of casually saying, “Want to go for a walk?”

I wasn’t fooled. I knew this was a Walk Before Gracie Goes Into The Crate. So as we walked home I dug in my paws and looked stubborn. Everybody passing by made a wisecrack, like, “Who’s walking who?” and “Doesn’t want to go home, does she?” Some people thought I was cold and didn’t want to be out walking.

Although I thoroughly embarrassed my mom, I still had to go home and yes, get stuffed in my crate. My mom put some peanut butter in my kong toy but I wasn’t fooled. I knew I was in for a few hours of serious crate time.

“Gracie, there’s no argument here!” my mom said. “The vet says you’ll get really sick if you keep chewing things. You’re hardly a deprived dog. Millions of dogs would trade places with you in a heartbeat. I bet those dogs from Michael Vick’s ranch would love to be in a nice crate with peanut butter instead of fighting with other dogs.”

Yeah, right. I think she’s reassuring herself. As soon as she closes the door, I scarf down the peanut butter and go to sleep. When she comes home, I’m out of the crate, tail wagging, ready to settle down for the night on my mom’s bed after our final, final walk, which I enjoy immensely and never argue about. See, I know? It’s a tough life but at least I can read between the lines.

There’s a branch of Mud Bay just a few blocks away. So every few weeks my mom loads up her wheelie backpack and off we go.

“It’s convenient and we get to combine Gracie’s walk with an important errand,” my mom says.

“And I always get a treat,” I have to add. “Plus those Mud Bay employees know how to give a good dog massage.”

Hey, it’s only fair. The mom discovered the joys of massage with her awesome massage therapist, Larry Swanson. She’s not allowed to take me and frankly I’d be bored. Larry just works on humans and my stressed-out mom makes a good challenge for him. I take my own back rubs where I can get them.

People have trigger points where massaging one spot makes a huge difference to a whole muscle group. Here’s someone who understands a dog’s trigger point. And don’t forget those treats. I usually manage to talk them into at least three per visit even when we’re just buying cat food.

A few days ago we were walking to the park when we heard someone calling us: “Gracie! How are you? You look great!”

Of course i look great. Why wouldn’t I?

It was our old friend Cynthia, from the old Downtown Dog Lounge on Bell Street. We loved going there. They always fussed over me. I never had to hang out in the pen with the other dogs; I was the assistant receptionist and my photo was on the wall as a staff member. Then the place closed.

Cynthia was one of the managers. Now she has another job and she’s probably doing well. But she remembers when Cathy first adopted me. “Gracie is so much more confident,” she said, giving me a scratch in that special spot on my tummy. That feels SO good. Can you tell I was thrilled to see Cynthia?

We went out for our walk Tuesday evening – yesterday. I wasn’t crazy about getting my paws into the snow so for once I did my business fast.

Usually my mom is thrilled – she’s ready for bed! But she couldn’t resist taking out her cell phone for a photo op. “Belltown is so beautiful in snow,” she said. Here’s the entrance to the freeway, usually affording a nice view of cruise ships. Not that I care much for ships: I’m more into what’s on the ground nearby than what’s out on the sea. Nevertheless…

My mom and I came back from our walk and there was our neighbor, Janet. I adore Janet, even though she’s much too nice to our feline housemates. When my mom went out of town, while I was boarding, Janet came over to sit with the cats. She sketched them and brushed them and… good grief. Those felines are spoiled rotten.

We hadn’t seen Janet for while. She has a nice big dog named Emma. I was so happy to see Janet I jumped up.

“Gracie! Off!” my mom yelled.

Janet picked me up in her arms. I love being held. I always relax and look very pleased with myself. Can you tell?

“Gracie thinks she’s a cat,” my mom sighed.

“Maybe she is part cat,” Janet said helpfully.

Yeah, right. I’m 100% royalty. I deserve this.